sakibakidaki

on my way back from bukit jalil after a nice match, relieved that i’m wearing yellow instead of blue like my other two siblings, i’ve been thinking about what Aten had said last year.

Last year and I only took it seriously now?

not really..she keeps on repeating the line all over whenever anything strucks me

"kau takut disakiti hingga menyakiti"

I think it’s true. Having my friends get ditch by their boyfriend hurts me…I know if I ever be in their shoes, I can’t handle it. I’m afraid to be hurt, and because of that I rather not experiencing whatever sweet moment that maybe I could treasure if I had a boyfriend.

But now I realise that having myself not to be hurt, might hurt others who came to me. The only way to not hurt those who could possibly be hurt by me is to avoid as many people as possible. To avoid people means i’m isolating myself. In my "usaha" towards isolating myself, I get alienated by people. Somehow, I still get hurt but in different angle…u see? Life’s too complicated for me.

And it’s hard for me to trust words. Words betray me all the time. ( if only u know what i mean, if no, don’t ask ) I still believe that action speaks louder than words. I STILL DO. and always will.

the conclusion?

aku takut didekati. aku tak mahu disakiti. aku takut disakiti. menyebabkan aku menyakiti.

paham?

p/s : aku x rase pon akan jumpe bende atau org yg akan mengatasi ketakutan aku tuh..sigh

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 28th, 2006 at 8:41 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.