sunday
yay..finally i’m home again after a week of super hectic schedule at school. its sunday without sun… since it’s sunday, So of course.. here I am going crazy. What is it about Sundays that completely throw me off? I know it must have something to do with that Sunday air. You can feel it. It’s actually takes more energy to walk through Sunday air than any other day because it’s so thick. It weighs me down. People tend to pair Sunday with God. I think the opposite is true. Sunday is the devils’ work. Ok.. so, for all of you extremely religious people, I don’t literally mean the devils’ work. I just think it’s shouldn’t be paired with good.~
To be perfectly fair to Sunday, I don’t think that’s the only reason why I’ve felt weird lately. I’m just sort of scapegoating Sunday. It’s easy to blame the day before school. It’s easy to blame the day I don’t get to see anybody. It’s easy to blame the day with the thick air. Generally, I’ve felt different lately. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. I feel like I need to tell someone something. I feel like there’s something I need to get out. But that’s just it… I have nothing to tell. I haven’t done anything.. so why do I feel like I’m keeping a secret from the world? Ok. So that was insanely cliche. But at least I got my point across, right? Although you are rolling your eyes, at least you understand.~
I could feel we were right there, so I laid it down, everything I wanted to tell him, and… and he says to me, he says… "Nobody should ever need another person that badly." Do you believe that? "Nobody should ever…!" What is that? Is that something you saw on TV? I’m saying I love you, is that so wrong? Is that not allowed anymore? And so what if I did need him? Is that so bad? All right, crucify me, I need him! So what! I don’t want to be by myself, I’m by myself I feel like I’m going out of my mind, I do. I sit there, I’m thinking forget it, I’m not gonna make it through the next ten seconds. I just can’t stand it. But I do, somehow, I get through the ten seconds, but then I have to do it all over again, cause they just keep coming, all these… Seconds, floating by, while I’m waiting for something to happen, I don’t know what, a car wreck, a nuclear war or something, that sounds awful but at least there’d be this instant when I’d know I was alive. Just once. Cause I look in the mirror, and I can’t believe I’m really there. I can’t believe that’s me.
p/s : lol rofl lmao lmfao… use real words just type "hahahaha" or something bastards. My friendster has exploded with all people i know in real life (except deadsy) thanks to everybody for making me feel so popular. i am working towards the drumset for teachers day and if it does happen with no money involved it would be supercool… and i added some more pics of beautiful me. have a nice day.
